Life is not always fair. Or logical. Or pretty and nice.
This is my personal outlet for emotions that might otherwise be unleashed in an inappropriate manner.
Let it be known that "the BG" is my girlfriend whom I adore...the BabeGoddess, regardless of what I might be bitching about at any given moment within the walls of my blog.
"People can keep a journal to record their life, their thoughts, their happiness, the events of their families,
etc. They can also keep a journal of creative observations, their hopes, their ideas and dreams, as Leonardo da Vinci
did. He always had a notebook hanging from his belt to record his observations. I have one constantly in my
pocket and on my night table. We must be the source of good ideas and dreams for a better world. We are part of
evolution." -- ROBERT MULLER
"The defining characteristic of the literary vocation may be that those who
possess it experience the exercise of their craft as its own best reward, much superior to anything they might gain
from the fruits of their labors." from Letters to a Young Novelist by Mario Vargas Llosa
"The irony of life is not that you cannot forget but that you can." --Gertrude Atherton, 'Can Women Be Gentlemen'
it's time for a change...i am not sure yet if i will be closing down this blog altogether, or still using it...i feel it is time to renew my voice and have begun another blog...
if you have linked me (well thanks so much!!) and want to continue on the daily journey, please see the new place, So Many Other Dreams... and change your links accordingly...
i might still post here on occasion too, as i said, i am just not sure...
I heard Callahan paged to security while I was listening to Jack tell the other two guards that they would play it serious like there was real concern that I had something of value hidden in my person. He reminded them that Callahan had directed me to the bathroom to begin with so she would likely be resistant to the idea.
As Callahan entered the room, I immediately caught her eye and gave a wink in an effort to let her know something was up. Of course, Jack cleared his throat and began his long winded and exaggerated explanation.
“Callahan, the boss approved a cavity search for this perp. She set off all the alarms as she entered the ladies room, and he thinks she might have lifted something in jewelry. I was embarrassed for the little lady because he went on a rant about how poorly we have done in halting small item theft, and how he feels we should so everything at our disposal. Of course we paged you back here because the law requires a female officer present when the perp is female, but the lady here wants her exam done by a female.”
Before I could say anything, Callahan was pushing me into the chair on the front side of the desk, as she sat down in the chair behind the desk. “I think I have seen you around somewhere, though I can’t remember exactly where.”
I explained to her how often I shopped at this store, and one of the other guards, silent until now, mentioned that Callahan had just started a few days prior.
Callahan was quick to offer an explanation. “No, it was the last place I worked security, DRU Books. If I remember correctly, we had some trouble with you there as well.”
DRU stands for dykes-r-us and is a small feminist bookstore which has no security. Callahan was signaling that she was up for some fun at the boys’ expense. I feebly denied that I had any idea what she was talking about, and suggested that perhaps she was mistaken.
“I think you need to keep your mouth shut, Missy, and recognize the fact that at this point, what you think matters to noone present.” Callahan had suddenly transformed the situation so that it would play out totally from her vantage point. Jack and the other two guards were suddenly sitting on the peripheral chairs, like attentive dogs who’d excelled in obedience training.
Callahan looked at the two extra guards in disgust. “Two officers present is the minimum requirement, Jack will stay and you two are dismissed.”
The two guards said nothing but glanced at each other and then at Jack. Before either of them could object to being ordered around by a new employee, they were further intimidated by Callahan. “I said dismissed!!”
The two left the room, red-faced, heads hanging.
As the door closed behind them, Callahan got up and sauntered over to lock the door. She then told Jack to clear the desk and take a seat on the side. This afforded Jack a view of the proceedings yet to transpire. He quickly did as Callahan instructed, grateful for having not been dismissed with the other two guards, yet still oblivious that a carefully orchestrated scene was about to unfold before his eyes.
As I hurriedly walked past a female security guard into where the rest rooms used to be, she informed me that they had been moved to the back, where the security offices are. I told her thanks. She then informed me that if I rushed in there as I just did here, the security sensors would go off.
I quickly walked to the back of the Target store and slowed down, I thought. By this time i had to pee so badly, I ignored the alarms sounding and proceeded to run into the ladies room. I was in there just long enough to pee and wash my hands.
Upon exiting, I was surrounded immediately by four men, the one in a suit saying follow me, please. Before I could move to follow him, the biggest of the guards, moved over to me and held me up against the wall with the force of his body. His chest was broad and pinned me securely. I was shocked but not scared, and did not struggle. After all, he was big, but easy on the eyes, even for a lesbian, and all of them were armed.
The suit told Jack to take it easy. At this, Jack paused in his frisking, but mentioned that I was not at all squirming, and he thought I was rather liking it. He mentioned in a most sarcastic voice needing to conduct a thorough search to be sure I had no concealed weapon. He had me put my hands out to my sides, like the letter “T”, and then he proceeded to grope me all over. His hands focused much longer than necessary on my ass and breasts, thoroughly inspecting both areas much longer than necessary. The whole while he kept me pinned to the wall with his body.
As his hands were feeling around my shapely ass, his pinning shifted from his chest to his groin area. I couldn’t help but feel his hardening cock. I hadn’t had cock in about 18 years, since I was 20 and still trying to please my folks and act ‘normal’. Remembering his sarcasm, I let myself grind into him just a little, noticeable only to him. He froze for an instant and I felt his cock grow harder still.
“That’s enough Jack!” That was the suit again, of course.
Never one to pass on a challenging situation, I had to speak up. “Jack is trying to decide how to release me and back up without the lot of you seeing his own raging-hard concealed weapon.”
With that said, I looked Jack in the eye and could see the tips of his ears getting slightly red. Of course his hard cock instantly deflated, and I whispered to him “You’re welcome,” and winked subtly as he backed away.
As I was released, I addressed the suit. “The guard at the front where the rest rooms used to be explained to me where they are now, and also informed me that sensors would go off if I rushed by hurriedly. You can see, it is quite obvious, I am empty handed. I do apologize if I have been at all an inconvenience, but I really had to pee.”
At this, the suit had the sense to be a little embarrassed. Jack, however, began ranting about all the small item theft they deal with...reminding him that I would not be the first woman to hide something within my person.
That fucker wants to strip search me!! I was aghast.
At this, the suit stepped aside allowing Jack and the two others to proceed and escort me to a private room. I yelled back to the suit, “Am I not entitled to exam by a female officer?”
The suit mumbled, “Be sure Callahan is present...” which made Jack chuckle in a most perverse way.
I allowed myself to look at him with fearful caution as he replied. “You should have kept your mouth shut. I felt you grinding against me, and I know you would have liked your, umm...search. Now you’ve gone and gotten the dyke involved.”
good morning...woo...i am so wide fucking awake...processing, hitaji might tell me...hitaji was the facilitator of a weekend workshop i did for personal empowerment among other benefits and she is someone i consider a healer...excellent energy...i also participated with a follow up to that workshop and that one day seminar was composed of 6 of the original 12...from that group, we were paired off to form intentional relationships with one other group member...not really given any directions or specific guidelines...just that the relationship be intentional, and that as a duo, we meet twice, minimum, before september...L and i had out first intentional meeting tonight...we have emailed a bit back and forth and talked at length at the gatherings...
tonight we mostly discussed what intentional meant to us...i think we decided on genuine...we went and had dinner and then went to hollywood (gay coffeehouse) for dessert...we gabbed at length and enjoyed ourselves...it will be a path to chronicle, i suppose, and see what more i can learn about myself along the way...
shopping is so very good for the soul...especially if using ift certificate, the gift that keeps on giving...
for the past two xmases, i worked at oildom and received the standard holiday gift, or seems the standard anyway, of a $300 gift card...the boss' wife, i think, does the picking of who gets what...she is pretty intuitive about who likes what, and i suppose as much as she loves to chat and gossip when she would pop in to the office, her intuitiveness indicates she is also a good listener...
the BG has been remodeling here at the house about 2 years, and her gift cards have included pottery barn and restoration hardware, as well as a little mexican import shop...i think she also got one from lowes, but i cannot remember...
until this past xmas, there have been 2 gift cards...the second one has always been a $100 for taste of texas...a local steakhouse, where dinner for 2, no holds barred, runs about a hundred bucks...of course, a more modest dinner for 4 can also be had for this much, if you decline drinks and share appetizers and desserts...advertising is somewhat down as the industry is depressed at the mooment, so there was no taste of texas this year...i also have always wondered, do the higher-ups get additional gift cards??
so anyway, on to yesterday's shopping therapy...the two years i received a holiday gift card, mine were for williams sonoma...if you have never been to one, i suggest going...at the very least, go to their website and sign up for their catalog...lots of yummy stuff to drool over...
i have been so disciplined in spending my gift card dollars...i cannot remember what i used my first one on, but we have enjoyed a lot of tea from ws as well as some sauces and mustards...in addition, i bought a nice all-clad saute pan, which i have yet to use as we still are without a stove...i got some cookie cooling racks, and some small gadgety tools for my kitchen...
when i received a second ws gift card this past xmas, i debated long and hard, as i did with the first one, over getting a whoopdedoo kitchen aide mixer...they have a tangerine one that i have had my eye on for more than a year now, and i talk myself into and out of it over and over again...i have just as much fun window shopping or browsing as i do actually going there to spend...
yesterday, i went to spend...i had $203 left to spend, and being on unemployment, there have been few splurge dollars available...i had pretty much decided on a le cruessette grill pan or covered casserole, and a stick blender...my last trip their resulted in a 6 inch wusstoff(?) chef's knife which i adore, as well as a three pack of wusstoff paring knives...the chef's knife is really the perfect sixe for a woman (who knew i could be so sexist?) and it is versatile enough to handle most any kitchen knife task...and it is way, way sharp...
of course, once i was actually in the store, i ended up reshopping yet again...i was going to get a waffle iron, but decided to wait on that...i did get the pizza stone i have been wanting for the grill...in theory, i think it might enable me to bake with the grill, and of course i will report on that once i succeed...they also had on clearance some kitchen towels and dish cloths...i got a set of each and they are a lovely lavender striped...also on clearance were some 20 oz light green mexican glasses, quite substantial, etched with palms...i liked them well enough to get a set, but i also have this quirky class thing going on and we have an eclectic assortment of heavy mexican glassware...a collection of sorts...
for foodstuff this trip, i got the BG some beer honey mustard made somewhere in vermont, and we got another variety of the loose russian tea that we like...the last trip there, besides knives, i also got a salt and pepper mill set...i have found a coarse salt that i really like, and the peppercorns that came in the peppermill are about gone...ws offers black, white, red, and green ones, and since i am not familiar enough with any of the offered vsrieties, i got a container of their 5 pepper blend...
the big coup of this trip was a 1.5 quart cuisinart ice cream maker...it can be used for sorbet, frozen yogurt, mixed drinks, etc...and there was a rebate coupon to mail off for a second freezer bowl...woohoo...i cannot wait to begin experimenting...
so now, the freezer bowl is in the freezer, getting ready to make some chocolate ice cream with chocolate creme oreos and marshmallow creme swirledthroughout it...gotta work with what's on handtime for laundry...yippee.............
it's july 4th...i totally missed out on july 1st, 2nd and 3rd...i suppose miss nola has had my attention otherwise occupied...i always think of my mom on these patriotic holiday, and how glad i am to not be living with her and kate smith, and george m cohen, and anyone else known for the patriotic standards...my mom loves them year round and she is just about the walking breathing definition of patriotic...lately, i have come to actually miss my folks...i am at a point in my life where i wish i lived near enough to visit...maybe 4 hours away rather than 34 or 44hours, however long it would take to drive to upstate ny...
as i was considering that it is already july, and mentioning this to the BG, she took the liberty of reminding me that in 2 months, i will be 39...how did that happen??? of course i corrected her...2 months and a week!!
39...thirty9...thirty-nine...it just seems so much older that i think i am...a decade at least...
i have flip-flopped again on going back to work...i am just not sure i want to return to the salon...i am currently considering barnes and noble or starbucks...something mindless...and i think i might consider it for another month or two...the BG rather likes having me home, so there is no issue there...i know i will need to work part time at least when the unemployment runs out...that will be sometime in september...maybe i should stay out of work til after my birthday...good ole 911...
