Life is not always fair. Or logical. Or pretty and nice.
This is my personal outlet for emotions that might otherwise be unleashed in an inappropriate manner.
Let it be known that "the BG" is my girlfriend whom I adore...the BabeGoddess, regardless of what I might be bitching about at any given moment within the walls of my blog.
"People can keep a journal to record their life, their thoughts, their happiness, the events of their families,
etc. They can also keep a journal of creative observations, their hopes, their ideas and dreams, as Leonardo da Vinci
did. He always had a notebook hanging from his belt to record his observations. I have one constantly in my
pocket and on my night table. We must be the source of good ideas and dreams for a better world. We are part of
evolution." -- ROBERT MULLER
"The defining characteristic of the literary vocation may be that those who
possess it experience the exercise of their craft as its own best reward, much superior to anything they might gain
from the fruits of their labors." from Letters to a Young Novelist by Mario Vargas Llosa
"The irony of life is not that you cannot forget but that you can." --Gertrude Atherton, 'Can Women Be Gentlemen'
5 days have passed since my last post and they have been rather insignificant...two of them were mental health days...this is my version of a sick day...i am relatively healthy, knock on wood, and sick days in general are use them or lose them so i use them when my mental health needs a little fine tuning...i took two this week, wednesday and thursday...extravagant...
work is for the most part going well...i have heard a few times in the past few weeks, 'so, don't you miss the salon?'...well, yeah, dammit, i do...of course i do not miss workiing commission...in a perfect world i think i would be a good little wife waiting at home and doiing the wifey things, and working part time in the salon for my mad money...working hours, of course, that did not conflict with the wife gig...which would by that definition, not be cash cow hours...i miss the creativity of the salon...and also, i miss being around all the women...touching them, innocently of course...feeling them...soaking up their good energy...but when someone asks if i miss it or what i miss about it, this is not an answer i can readily give...as open as i am most of the time about most moments of my life, i am having difficulty at the moment opening up to anyone totally, including my darling grrrrlfriend...i am finding it difficult to raise issues that need to be addressed...working on it though...here if nowhere else...
it is so difficult to find the time to write to a blog that is in some ways private...a journal to oneself online is not as simple as i would like...i guess the key is to make it a routine part of my day...i am working on this in other areas as well...like going to the gym...i hate it, but i go after work each day before i let myself do anything else...well, that is not entirely true, i do go to the bathroom and change from work clothes to gym clothes...but no checking mail or email until the gym is done...my goal is for it to become enough of a habit that by the time i move, i will be used to walking enough that i will keep it up even without the convenience of the apt complex gym...if it is just too damn hot to walk outside, perhaps i will commit to the investment of a treadmill...first i need to find consistency beyond 2 weeks...week 3 begins tomorrow...
the inlaws were over this afternoon...sometimes that can be so dreary...i guess i cannot complain as i do not really see them that often, though we live in the same city...they are both nice enough, but just have some rather whack things going on in their relationship...of course if it is working for them, i am certainly not one to judge...nice to not see them more often...less is more...
i found out today that i am getting a nice tax return...this might really lessen the funk i have been drifting into recently...i will be able to pay off a few small debts that seem to bury me each month, and i will also be able to have a little medicinal shopping spree too...always good therapy...i think there is a new eileen fisher dress with my name on it at saks...and definitely time for some new eyewear...perhaps contacts again...i think so...i miss tham...i guess that will lead me to considering again my vanity...
while out shooting pool this weekend, there was a grrl in the bathroom, using it, with the stall door wide open...'oh excuse me,' i said...'we all have the same stuff,' said she...'no big deal'...as she was so eloquently wiping her nearly fully shaved stuff...hmmmmmm...nice stuff...
